Posted date: 2011-11-09
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I am at the point in my life where I consider my own mortality often. Not because I am particularly old or unwell. Rather, the statistics tell me that there are more days in my past than in my future. By itself, this is not of much interest. But the thought occurs to me that I must begin to plan. To this point, my entire life has been conducted on the fly. That is to say I have been living from one day to the next bereft of any plan longer than the next few days. Most people my age who do what I do have completed a graduate degree some time ago. Recent encounters with three old friends (isn't it odd how broad the definition of "friend" can be?) have really stricken a chord. Until about a dozen years ago, I spent most of my time flailing in seemingly random directions. Then I settled into a stable career. Now I'm at the point where I cannot progress in my career without abandoning the technical aspects for the mind-numbing tedium of management.
I like what I do, but the nature of my job leaves any potential professional growth at the mercy of the whims of management. Given the state of the economy at present, my management feels that any investment in personnel is money wasted. So I can not expect to actively pursue any higher education while attempting to maintain some semblance of a family life.
This all leads me to one conclusion: I peaked years ago. I began my downward slide in my 30s. Sad.